MEMORIES & CONSTANT REMINDERS

Josh is now 6 1/2 months old and growing fast. He is a real little character and I love him to bits but I must admit I found the anniversary of Luke's death harder this year than the one before. I guess it's due to Josh constantly doing little things that make you laugh or smile and knowing that they are more things we missed out on with Bubby Luke. I try not to dwell on them as I know that helps no-one but I can't help it sometimes as my mind wanders back to Luke and the 2 very special days I had with him. I go and visit him every second night on my way home from work, check his little grave & remove leaves and stuff off it that has been blown there, make sure his toys are in the place where we like them and give his plaque a clean as they get dirty so quickly. I know its not much but it is all I can do to show my boy that daddy will always care. I hope he knows that anyway but I like to check on him. I sometimes sit down out there & chat with him, telling him how much I miss him and how I wish he was still here with his mummy, little brother Josh and me. I say goodnight to Luke every night, I always look into the night sky and find the brightest star and say goodnight darlin boy daddy loves you and misses you. It might sound silly to some people but it helps me a little bit. I had such a special bond with Luke and my heart aches every day from the loss of my little boy. If only I could change things !!
Daddy loves and misses you so much Bubby xxxxxxx