MIXED EMOTIONS & TRUE FRIENDS
Since our exciting news of Cindy being pregnant life has taken a rather strange turn. I seem to be in no-mans land again of not really knowing how to act or what to say. I am very excited about the upcoming birth of our 2nd child but also on my mind is how I wish this child was Luke and I realise that that is not fair on our unborn little baby. CJ won't speak about being pregnant as yet, she is still not really admitting it but I believe that will change when we go to our next scan and see the little heart beating away.......I can't wait for that day.
We both are very nervous, anxious and scared to bits about going through it all again but hopefully we will be lucky enough this time for our baby to be ok. Even writing these words I feel bad as it's like I am letting Luke down, but I also know deep down that he wouldn't be thinking that and he would realise that his Mum and me will always love him in a very very special way. Luke "Bubby" was our first born and I will never ever forget meeting our little boy for the first time, it was just incredible such an overwelming feeling of love that I have never come close to previously experiencing.
People who have not spoken to us for a long time suddenlyl seem to want to be around us again, and talk about CJ being pregnant, I know on more that one occassion that she has just wished they would go away. It's like "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN" when we have needed you when we lost Luke, don't come out of the cupboard now you think we are ok.......nothing will change how we ever feel about losing our special son we are just learning to cope with it as best we can.
We want to share this special occassion with our TRUE friends who stuck with us through the hard times and not just the good. To all these people and trust me I know who every single one of them is all I can say is Thankyou from the bottom of my heart and that I will never forget any of you and how much it means to have you as CJ and my treasured friends.
Monday coming is our next scan and I know everything will be ok because big brother Luke will help us from in heaven from the comfort of his Poppies knee. I just know that my Dad would be spoiling him rotten. I just wish more than anything that it was me and his Mummy doing it.
Love you darlin little boy xxxxxxxxx
We both are very nervous, anxious and scared to bits about going through it all again but hopefully we will be lucky enough this time for our baby to be ok. Even writing these words I feel bad as it's like I am letting Luke down, but I also know deep down that he wouldn't be thinking that and he would realise that his Mum and me will always love him in a very very special way. Luke "Bubby" was our first born and I will never ever forget meeting our little boy for the first time, it was just incredible such an overwelming feeling of love that I have never come close to previously experiencing.
People who have not spoken to us for a long time suddenlyl seem to want to be around us again, and talk about CJ being pregnant, I know on more that one occassion that she has just wished they would go away. It's like "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN" when we have needed you when we lost Luke, don't come out of the cupboard now you think we are ok.......nothing will change how we ever feel about losing our special son we are just learning to cope with it as best we can.
We want to share this special occassion with our TRUE friends who stuck with us through the hard times and not just the good. To all these people and trust me I know who every single one of them is all I can say is Thankyou from the bottom of my heart and that I will never forget any of you and how much it means to have you as CJ and my treasured friends.
Monday coming is our next scan and I know everything will be ok because big brother Luke will help us from in heaven from the comfort of his Poppies knee. I just know that my Dad would be spoiling him rotten. I just wish more than anything that it was me and his Mummy doing it.
Love you darlin little boy xxxxxxxxx
posted by PROUD DADDY at 2:32 pm
2 Comments:
Luke will be watching over you all and he will be so happy for you both.
He knows that having another baby doesnt mean he is thought of less or loved less.
Hugs
xxx
Good for people to know.
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