Long Days Long Nights

Nightimes seem to make you stop and think more than you wish you did. The quiet periods and I guess the realisation that your son isn't with you are very hard to deal with. I often find myelf staring at bubbies photo that we have proudly displayed in the loungeroom, wondering is he ok? is he safe? what he is doing, where he actually is and if he is missing me half as much as I miss him. I often talk to him and every night look into the sky to try and see some sort of sign that he is watching over his Mum and me. It may sound silly but it's all we have along with my memories of the 2 days I spent with our son. Staring upwards and wishing him sweet dreams are almost a nightime ritual to me. What I would do to be able to tuck him in and just stare at him as he drifted off to sleep. More things I guess that alot of parents take for granted, gee I hope most realise how truly lucky they are. To my wife and I these are only wishes that will never be reality. We hate sitting here, gawking at the tv guide to see what is on next, it's not what we wanted to be doing, we wanted to be changing dirt nappies, to be playing with our son, to be woken in the middle of the night to loud screams, but it's not to be.
Sweet Dreams Little man Daddy loves you lots xxxxxxxxxxxx